


in morning and night (gods are the same)

by hubristic



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, i think so, is this fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 23:27:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17313848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hubristic/pseuds/hubristic
Summary: in the morning, mark is soft lines and sun warmed sheets.at night, mark is artificial lights and groggy smiles.different and yet all the same, because he's mark.donghyuck is there from the break of dawn til dusk, and for everything in between.





	in morning and night (gods are the same)

**Author's Note:**

> guys idk how the mf dorms or studio work so bear with me. also this is messy asfff but i needed to get it out of my head cause i need to write a paper for school but i couldn’t with this taking up all the space in my brain.
> 
> also this is kinda weird, but it's meant to be read like,,,,, slowly. my writing has a weird cadence to it lol

donghyuck is tired.

his limbs ache from practicing for an ungodly amount of time until an ungodly hour of the night when all he wants is to go back to the dorms and collapse in bed, having no obligation to move until the next morning. but he can’t.

after practice, he watches as mark silently migrates towards the back of the group of sweaty, exhausted boys and he breaks off at the last moment, heading towards the studios. donghyuck grabs taeyong’s elbow and tells him he'll find a way back to the dorms on his own.  _ be careful  _ is what taeyong replies, not pressing further. he doesn’t doubt that taeyong somehow knows what he’s doing. taeyong  _ always  _ knows.

he watches mark slink into the studio, through the last door at the end of the hall. sometimes, he feels like all he does is watch mark.

he watched as mark was included in every single nct line up and unit. he watched as mark began to speak korean more fluidly and began to stutter less often. he’s watched mark gain more confidence with himself on stage and off. he’s continually watching mark work hard and  _ thrive.  _ but. 

but he's also watched mark take on the weight of increasing expectations and pressure. watched as mark’s smile has faded after cameras turn off and the bags under his eyes grow darker. donghyuck doesn’t have the words to tell mark that there’s never been a moment where he hasn’t been proud of him, but too many when he’s wondered who mark was trying to prove something to. he doesn’t know how to tell mark it’s only worth so much. mark is worth so much more than pushing himself to breaking.

he never  _ wants _  to watch. watch: do nothing. though, more often than not, mark pushes donghyuck away when he so much as tries to hold his hand. still, he tries. he's there for when mark wants him. he’s there for when mark decides he needs him.

so there are some nights. some nights when mark crawls into his bed, and tucks himself underneath donghyuck’s chin even though it makes his feet hang off the bed. he presses his ear to donghyuck's chest and listens to his heart while donghyuck holds him tightly and lets mark feel him breathe. the rise and fall of mark's chest meets his own.

last time, last night, donghyuck settled his hand along the sliver of exposed skin between mark's shucked up shirt and the waistband of his sweats. mark had let out a breath against the tender skin just below donghyuck’s collarbone in response. they didn’t talk about it.

but he feels guilty sometimes. when he wakes up and mark is drooling and his hair is pushed up unevenly on one side - after not moving from between donghyuck’s arms all night (he never turns away) - he feels guilty because he wishes that mark came to him every night so that he could wake up to him every morning. but he knows mark only ever crawls into his bed when everything has become  _ too much  _  and mark can't seem to remember how to breathe. and he knows mark feels  _ weak.  _ he's been sneaking into donghyuck’s bed more often, lately. 

he wakes up earlier than mark to trace - with his eyes, he would never dare to touch - the slope of his nose and the plush of his lips. he follows the curves of his high cheekbones and the line of his jaw. he’s beautiful when he sleeps. 

there’s an innocence and a peace settled into his features, that disappear when he wakes up, that only ever come in his sleep when his mind finally goes blank. he's seen too much of the world. he's felt too much of the world. in sleep he's: softer, younger.

and donghyuck can’t think of anything more beautiful than mark in the waking rays of dawn. 

 

he walks down the hall, the way mark did just moments before. he knocks at the door before opening it and stepping inside. mark has already settled at the computer, with headphones slung on his neck and a notebook in his lap. he has a pen in his mouth as he opens a webpage on the computer.

“why didn’t you go back with the others?” mark asks without looking at him.

donghyuck feels a twinge of hurt in his chest. “oh. i don’t know. i just saw… i can leave,” he says. “why did you stay?” 

donghyuck feels especially sensitive,  _ vulnerable,  _ when it comes to mark. there really is no one he trusts more than mark. there really is no one who understands him like mark. he doesn't doubt mark actually knows why he stayed.  _ for you.  _

mark’s eyes soften when he looks at donghyuck. a beat passes. donghyuck's heart thumps. 

“no, no. i’m just - i’m just nervous. the charts are going up at midnight so i’m staying to check them.” he glances around the room nervously, looking at everything, looking everywhere but at donghyuck.  “i didn’t want to be in the dorms, just in case.” and donghyuck knows what he means. the glances from the hyungs felt more chastising when they were filled with pity.  _ do better _ . mark swallows and donghyuck pretends to not follow the bobbing of the jut of his throat. 

“i’m just trying to work on a song but you can stay.” he coughs. “if you want.” 

donghyuck opens his mouth to say something cheesy along the lines of  _ anything for you babe  _ or  _ all i want is you  _ with a greasy grin and wink, but mark continues. he sounds - different: a little smaller and a little less sheltered. “ _ will _ you stay? i just don't want to - please?” 

mark coughs again, his eyes darting to donghyuck before averting once more. not for the first time, it occurs to donghyuck that mark is as vulnerable with donghyuck as donghyuck is with mark. 

donghyuck nods. “i’ll be on the couch if you need me,” donghyuck says, gesturing towards the leather sofa. mark lets out a small puff of air and nods. 

leaning his head against the back cushions, he busies himself with scrolling through social media and playing games on his phone. he finishes cycling through apps quickly, becoming bored of each one fairly easily. 

he looks over at mark, who’s biting the inside of his cheek and tapping his pen against the notebook. the artificial light of the computer casts a soft glow, creating shadows in the dips and curves of mark’s face. donghyuck finds himself following the lines of his features, not dissimilar to earlier in the day, when mark remained asleep while donghyuck was all but melting beside him.

 

donghyuck doesn’t remember when he realized he loved mark.  it was somewhere between the first time donghyuck cried in front of him - mark kneeled next to him on the cold tiles of the bathroom, rubbed his back until his sobs turned to whimpers, cradled him until his breaths slowed and donghyuck gathered enough of himself to murmur  _ don't get all soft on me now, canada _ \- and the time mark biked from the dorms to donghyuck's graduation - he remembers mark: his dress shoes scuffed and flowers squeezed to a pulp in one hand, a bike helmet dangling from the tips of his fingers of the other, his dress shirt rumpled. mark was  _ proud. _ donghyuck remembers the way mark refused to hug him in front of a crowd, hooking their pinkies together behind his back only to hug him in the private space of the dorms, chastely pressing a kiss to his temple. donghyuck remembers his unfading smile the most. - donghyuck wishes there was a moment when he looked at mark and felt the cosmos colliding and the planets aligning and he wishes his mind went:  _ he's the one.  _ there's an easiness that comes with a  _ before  _ and an  _ after. _ but they didn't and it didn't. somewhere along the way, seeing mark became coming home. it was a fact; when it became one, he doesn't know. 

loving mark is quiet. it's a soft thrum through his veins at a peck on the cheek and a fire in the pit of his stomach when their hands brush. loving mark is the same as being awake at four am: quiet streets, dim lights, and an _ otherness  _ you can never feel at any other point in time, with anyone else. it's not grand gestures - it isn't johnny's mariachi for ten - it isn't dramatic declarations of love - it isn't yuta's fireworks for sicheng. yes, there's yelling and yes, there are unnecessary renditions of red flavor and move, and _ can you stop screeching? it was just a spider, - look, it's in the cup  _ (mark always lets donghyuck pretend he caught it and always lets him release it). but. loving mark is quiet. 

donghyuck is loud. his mind is loud. and mark makes him quiet. 

donghyuck's eyes close.

 

he wakes to mark's hands pressed to his shoulders. 

“hyuck. hyuck hyuck hyuck hyuck-”

there are hands gently shaking him awake, and he struggles to grasp his surroundings. it takes him a beat to remember he's in the studio. the blanket that had been folded and draped on the back of the swivel chair has been tucked around donghyuck; his shoes have been slipped off his feet. 

“will you be with me when they're posted?” mark asks. “sorry i know you were sleeping and i wasn't even going to wake you up but i just-” mark takes a deep breath, “- i don't want to be alone.” it doesn't pass him by that mark would've been alone if he hadn't followed him from practice. mark never would have called anyone. 

 

mark reloads the page and the layout changes. 

“mark,” donghyuck says. he takes one of mark's hands and mark threads their fingers together. he can read the numbers but they have to be lying - “it’s in english -”

mark turns to him and donghyuck finally understands what it means when someone's eyes glisten. mark's eyes take their time to go over every detail of donghyuck's features and his eyes  _ glisten _ . “we charted at -  _ holy shit hyuck -  _ hyuck we charted at number one!  _ fucking shit  _ -” 

jesus, he needs to work harder if number one always gets mark looking like this. his smile is wide and his nose is crinkling. his eyes are fucking  _ sparkling -  _ from what he can see of them because his cheeks are turning his eyes into dark crescents. and donghyuck is in love. 

“number one?” his brain stutters to life. “wait what - number one?” he stands up from where he’s kneeled next to the swivel chair, hitting his knee against the desk. the computer trembles. mark squeaks and reaches out to steady the screen and donghyuck squints at it.  __ “oh my god. oh my  _ god. oh my god mark -” _

mark turns the seat to face him and donghyuck all but leaps into his lap. mark groans but nonetheless loops his arms around donghyuck’s waist. donghyuck wraps his arms around mark’s neck and shoves his head into the crevice between his sweater-clad bicep and the column of mark’s neck. “mark we did it!”

mark’s practically vibrating in his arms and whispering something that sounds like  _ holy fuck  _ over and over again. donghyuck pulls backwards, his hands sliding over mark’s shoulders, and up his neck to cup his face. his smile grows at the sight of mark’s grin. 

“mark,” donghyuck says. mark’s grin fades and his face falls, but. his eyes still glisten. he glistens. donghyuck can feel his heart beating in his chest and mark’s breath against his neck and adrenaline thrumming through his veins. “mark.” he doesn’t know why he’s whispering. “mark.”

mark cranes his neck and donghyuck’s eyes close a second before mark kisses him.

it goes like this:

mark’s hands grasp his waist and donghyuck can feel him trembling until his fingertips dig into the flesh of his sides; his hands steady. donghyuck breaks it long enough for mark’s eyes to flutter open before he sways back press another kiss to his mouth. less hesitation means a little more teeth and little more pressure; his heart thumps. he opens up like a flower. the soft plush of his lips opens to wet heat. 

donghyuck loses himself to kissing mark. he stops thinking about how mark kissed him on a high of adrenaline and excitement and he stops thinking about how he hasn't brushed his teeth since this morning and he stops _ thinking _ because  _ mark is kissing him  _ (what the fuck) _ and he's kissing back  _ (what the FUCK). he loses himself in the action of moving his lips against mark’s and licking into his mouth. he kisses him and kisses him and kisses him and  _ kisses him _ . it's slow, and languid.

a string of spit connects mark’s reddened lips to his and he watches as mark flushes and breaks it, the worst of it falling back and hitting his chin. “gross,” mark rasps, his throat sounding shot. the wear of his own voice makes his blush darken prettily. 

donghyuck pulls his sleeve over his palm and wipes mark off, stamping one last, lingering kiss to his mouth, before dragging his hand over his own chin. he breathes deeply through his nose. he watches mark, and with a shiver, he realizes mark is watching him right back through hooded eyes. mark is leaning his head against the back of the seat and his throat is bared to donghyuck, and donghyuck wants nothing more than to press heady, open mouthed kisses along his tanned skin. he remains in mark’s lap.

“number one,” mark whispers, looking back at donghyuck, squeezing donghyuck’s hips. a soft grin tugs on his lips. “you’re my number one.”

“gross.” donghyuck pushes his shoulder.

mark’s eyes are still glistening.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading, i love all of you sm!!!
> 
> follow me on tumblr!  
> [skz](https://yangsjeongin.tumblr.com)  
> [bts](https://parkjiimn.tumblr.com)  
> [nct](https://dvngsicheng.tumblr.com)


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